HELLO all of my glorious readers. Well, let me tell you, it's been a crazy year to say the least. So many things have happened. So many people have come and gone. I've been exposed and introduced to plenty of wonderful books and movies and music. Did a little bit of future planning. Just so much craziness. Not to be completely predictable, but there has been many ups and downs. The highs were high, the lows were low. But really, what can you expect? It's high school, right?
But, yes.
The past year has consisted of so so SO many huge choices. Many of which top the charts as being the most difficultly decided in my own history of, well, being me! With that being said, I couldn't have made any of these choices without the support system I have surrounding me. No words could explain my feelings of appreciation to those who have helped me through this year. This year in particular has been a massive learning experience for me, improving more and more as the months passed by.
So, I'd like to share the biggest, most important things I feel I've learned this year with you guys. Maybe some of you can relate, or maybe this will open your eyes in some of these fields. Who knows!
1. The importance of self worth/respect
I'm starting off with this subject because it's one that occurred to me most recently and really the one that occurs to me most frequently. There are so many overused quotes and cliches regarding this that I feel it's overlooked and passed off as just "dramatic teen girls being dramatic".
There's really nothing more damaging to a person, no matter the age, gender, race, whatever, than low self esteem. Low self esteem, lacking self respect, and distorted self worth can all be caused by different things. They can root from within, or they can be sprouted by publicly expressed opinions and thoughts of others.
No matter what, it's important to work every particle of your being into realizing that HEY! you're a total badass, and that you deserve to be around people who recognize that too. I couldn't lie to you and say it's an easy thing to achieve. You know, building up that confidence. It took me (and is still taking me) my whole life to keep assuring myself of my own self worth. We all have our good and bad days. BUT, at the end of each one of those days, it's imperative to remind yourself of your strengths and to cut yourself off from anything that hinders those positive thoughts. For some people it could take changing what they expose themselves to media wise, aka: stop looking at people with thigh gaps/ begin to enjoy and appreciate the love between your two legs and the extra warmth they create when they touch together. For others, it's getting rid of people who constantly violate every bit of self respect that has been built up only to take advantage of them as they're drunk, solely to get action. It could even mean just getting rid of friends who constantly put you down for things that they're completely aware bother you.
There are plenty of things that can be done, but ultimately it takes YOU to keep reassuring yourself that you are super cool and that you deserve to feel cool by choosing people to be around that treat you as you should be treated. Or, excuse me, cherish you.
SOME THINGS THAT HELPED ME WITH THIS:
-
"Daily Affirmations" Rookie Article /
"Help for your self-help" too
-Reading
Leandra Medine's book, and realizing it's okay to dress how I want. Even if it means being deemed a Man Repeller
-
Girl power playlists on 8tracks
-Finding different people to look up to (bad bitches who are
smart,
successful and
stylish to me)
-Writing this blog!!
2. Personal style means PERSONAL style
The initial reason I began writing this blog was to express my taste in a way that differed from the usual dressing up every morning and going to school. That's partly because a) there isn't much to do in regards to fashion here in Fort McMurray and b) the majority of people here don't really get why I dress the way I do, and I was sick of always being alienated from my peers (so many weird looks all the time) just because I wear things that stray away from the usual jeans and hoodie uniform. Plus, I figured someone reading this would get me, and I could become a part of the community the internet has, made up of people with common interests such as this one!
I'm really thankful I stepped out of my comfort zone to begin writing, because it's really improved my idea of personal style and what that is, along with my perception of confidence. There's a great point to tie into my last one. This blog was a contributing factor to what fuelled my newly found confidence. I mean, breaking through the "I'm nervous about what others will think of me" mind block is a huge thing. Not to mention incredibly hard to do. It's evident that that very step has been taken when you begin putting your own content out there for people to see, and judge, because really anyone and everyone could be reading it and loving it, or reading it and making fun of it. To take that chance when there's a possibility of hatred is very brave. So to any of you that have worked up the confidence to take the things you create and put them out there with the chance of being mocked for your passion, kudos to you for being so daring! Trust me, it takes a lot.
But going back to personal style itself, I've learned in the past year that it's called PERSONAL style for a reason. That reason being that what you wear should solely be decided by you and your likes and dislikes. Not by others. Who cares if people stare at you? If it makes you feel confident, then that's really all that matters. Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves, so if that means wearing platform sneakers and a pair of gypsy pants, go for it! If it means wearing sweatpants and styling your hair up in a bun, if it means wearing heels to school, if it means the occasional red lip, work it! Let the negative reactions bead off of you like rain on a windshield.
MORE THINGS THAT HELPED ME WITH THIS:
-
"How to not care what other people think of you" Rookie article
-That girl who complimented my platform sneakers in Vancouver that one time
-Again,
Man Repeller
-Grimes' badassery
3. "Nothing will get done if you don't actually put any work into it"
One of the most valuable lessons one of the most valuable people in my life has taught me is that you can't just sit around waiting for things you want to achieve to happen. If no work goes into getting the things you want, chances are, more times than none, you won't achieve anything.
This can be applied to literally anything. If you don't work, you won't make any money. If you don't approach that guy you've been crushing on, how will he know you're into him? If you don't try that dress on, you'll never know if it could have been the one. Seriously anything.
Goals become wishes when they go without a plan and some initiative.
4. It's okay to suck at stuff
If high school has taught me anything, and I mean anything, it would be that IT'S OKAY TO SUCK AT STUFF.
I don't know about anyone else, but I feel like a lot of kids are brought up to think that they need to be the best at everything. That school has been turned into this competition as to who can get the highest marks in every class rather than who's genuinely interested in learning. Some could argue, and that's fine. It's just my opinion. And to add, I am incredibly thankful for the opportunities I'm presented with being a young female student in Canada with the great education system we have here (props to Malala). But it does get tiring to be stuck with beliefs that you need to be great at everything, or else you aren't of any worth, when the truth is, not everyone was made to be great at everything.
Take me and math for instance. I hadn't ever really had much trouble with it until I reached grade 7. This being when I switched from all english speaking classes to all french speaking ones. I still wasn't too bad then, but during the 3 years of french immersion I had taken, it just so happens that those classes were filled with all of the basic information that I would later need to achieve success in grades 10-12 math, which I now take in english. (UMPH.) So that has caused plenty of confusion with all of the terms and most of the important stuff. Not to mention, I find the Alberta education system to be a lot more challenging to me than Nova Scotia's. With all that, I had just barely passed math 20-2. Half way through the semester, though, it dawned on me that I don't need to be fantastic at math, and that as long as I gave it my best shot, that would suffice.
This goes for many things too. Like singing, dancing, cutting your own bangs, and doing cat eye eyeliner.. Not everyone is amazing at everything, and that's what makes us human.
And there you have it. These things may seem like basic knowledge to some, but to me and many others who have yet to be vessels of great wisdom, these are big things. Important lessons to be learned.
ONTO THE ANNOUNCEMENT: (it's actually not that big)
As I have learned lots in the past year (and really the past few months), I've decided to take a new direction in my writing and the way I put my content out there. Fashion will always be my passion (lol) along with music, but as the recent weeks have gone past, I feel like I'm quickly outgrowing this blog and the entire concept of it. SO, that is why I have plans to do a bit of an overhaul. This is so exciting to me because it'll be just in time to accompany all of the major life changes that are to come in 2014. With that being said, no it won't be happening in the near future. I mean, I don't think it will be up and running any time soon. I really want to plan it out thoughtfully and meticulously so that I will have something that really epitomizes who I am, complemented by being both sophisticated and unique to the blog world.
Keep a look out for what's to come! I'm really excited to embark on a new journey with this.
I do wish you guys the happiest of holidays, and a wonderful new year!
Go cross some things off those bucket lists of yours, for heavens sake!!
More importantly, stay true.
As always,
Jaime :)
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