Thursday, 20 June 2013

JGD: Where Is My Mind?


I've got one more exam to go until eleventh grade is ready to be locked in a box and thrown into the ocean.. 

and there are so many choices I've got to make in the next year, it's reDONKulous! Although I marvel at the fact that within the next twenty four months I will have finished all of high school/middle school/elementary, and I'll be living on my own, I'm still pretty scared to take the plunge. 

I mean,

then all of this work will have payed off, right?

Just the thought of finally living in a city with exceptional culture, and being surrounded with people who share the same interests as me makes me as giddy as giddy can be. Being able to study things that I enjoy, and dedicate all of my time towards it, ahhhh. The nightlife, the concerts, the sights, the people, the food, the everything excites the living shit out of me. To be able to buy my own food, make my own meals, exercise whenever and however I please, decorate my apartment how I'd like, explore the wonders of the city, meeting dudes who are there for the same reasons who would be interesting to get to know.. I daydream for hours about it!


that scared feeling is still lingering there deep deep into the back corners of my thoughts. I don't want my lack of motivation throughout high school (in regards to the classes I take no interest in) to rub off onto me if actually do get into a fashion merchandising program, or whatever I end up choosing. I'm scared of the new encounters I will have to endure, and all of the new surroundings I'll have to warm up to. I'm scared of failure. I'm scared of being away from my parents without any direct help. I'm scared even to think of all the lonely nights there are to be had, missing, wishing. 

But these are all things to be excited for as well!

It all depends on the general outlook and attitude.

ANYWAY, this year is definitely going to be a doozer as far as choices and events determining what I'll end up doing post-secondarily goes. However on the other hand, it's going to be SUCH an amazing year to spend getting pumped and getting close to my grad class. I just can't wait.

Which brings me to my final point. This summer, IF I DON'T CHICKEN OUT, I thought of a great tattoo idea. I feel I've thought up a tattoo idea that would really be relevant in regards to this stage in my life, and all of these scared feelings I'm having. That in itself is scary/exciting, 


I love it. 

And that's all I really have to say. So, I'll leave you with this. 

Stay cool, 

1 comment:

Chiffon Cloud said...

Hope you do well on your exam. You just went "Deeper than Deepak Chopra' dude. I just finished 11th grade and the reality is already hitting me about how soon I'm gonna have to make some pretty big decisions in my life and that I need to take my future seriously and try juggling fun with academics and being less a procrastinator. Very insightful post.

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